It's inevitable.
Around 10 minutes into a Dare to Lead™ programme, someone will ask, "I tried being vulnerable, but my [boss/employee/colleague/business partner] wasn't interested."
The question is generally framed as a plea: What can I do to get them to enter the arena with me?
The answer may be disappointing, but it is simple: you can't.
Dare to Lead™ is not a recipe for getting other people to do what you want them to do.
You cannot control one single person other than yourself. If you're trying to change someone else's behaviour, it's not courage you're after; it's manipulation.
There is, however, a great irony in this work: if you change the way you show up in your organisation, if you change the way you lead your teams, it is a virtual certainty that your culture will transform.
That transformation doesn't start with changing someone else's behaviour. It starts with us. Who we are is how we lead.
It's tempting to focus on the ways other people are failing to live up to our expectations. It's certainly a whole heck of a lot less painful than turning that focus inwards. But focusing on others is fruitless. Inwards is where the gold is.
And wouldn't you rather have the gold?
Ngā mihi mahana,
Kaila Colbin, Certified Dare to Lead™ Facilitator
Founder and CEO, Boma
