I got the question one of the very first times I delivered a Dare to Lead™ programme.
"My organisation isn't the kind of place where you can have courageous conversations. What should I do?"
I've gotten it pretty much every time since.
And my answer is the same, every time.
The first thing to understand is that there is a substantive difference between being uncomfortable and being unsafe.
There are people in this world who are choosing every day between rent and heat. And if they lose their job for a few weeks, they're choosing between rent and food.
If you are in that position, it would be unsafe to put your employment at risk.
Being unsafe doesn't only apply to people living in poverty. You might be looking after a loved one. Suffering from depression. Recovering from an illness. Dealing with violent or bullying behaviour, or systemic issues of repression and racism.
You are the only person who knows what is safe and not safe for you, and nobody can judge you for it.
That being said... we often use the word 'unsafe' when what we mean is 'uncomfortable.'
And we often do that so we can avoid difficult conversations.
I would never advise anyone to have a conversation that is unsafe.
But courageous conversations are always uncomfortable. And we have to be willing to sit with that discomfort if we want to be daring leaders.
So, my response to the person who asked the question. First, is it safe to speak up? If not, look after yourself first.
But if speaking up is merely uncomfortable, then—before you think about leaving—do the courageous thing. Do everything in your power to effect change.
Remember: the single biggest indicator of a lack of courage in an organisation is an inability to have difficult conversations.
Remember: courage is courageous.
And remember: you have the power to take the lead.
Ngā mihi mahana,
Kaila Colbin, Certified Dare to Lead™ Facilitator
Founder and CEO, Boma
